ROOTS

I am so eternally grateful for the change of season. I have started Herbalism ‘school’, and am stoked to be in the company of such beautiful women and an amazing consort. I am leaning into recovery, and have a great plan ahead of me for the winter ahead. I can finally walk at Hummel Lake, and there are less bicyclists on the road of whom I’ve been scaring all summer long with my rescued traumatized service animal who happens to be a large German Shepherd. I really am the only person that can keep Jay right now, and I love him. The humane societies in WA state are completely overrun with rescues because of the natural disasters.

I walked around this issue for hours one day this summer, as I made a hundred phone calls, going back and forth between the crisis line 988, and adoption center after adoption center. My one walk away is that I wish the folks working at the adoption centers were nicer and more compassionate, though I do understand that it is a difficult situation we are facing out here. Our local Lopez Animal Protection Society was the one exception. But there are no real leads, and because it was a such an emotional issue that my family confronted me with, I had some real talks with 988 during the whole experience, who were wonderful and awesome. As we descend from the tourist summer mayhem that is San Juan County in the summer, I am relieved to have my best friend at my side.

There are others here with me too. My new sponsor, new friends and old in my program, old friends, and acquaintances everywhere. I miss Steve like it is the end of the world, but I am finally walking the line where I get to step over it and join in with an entirely new life. It is going to be a wonderful one. I miss you, babe, and I am fine with all of this. I do know now that life is so short it may as well be a blip in existence, individually and collectively. And I am not afraid. Not anymore.

I want to work with trees. Bark, roots and resins. If I have learned anything from all of my failed attempts at college, it is that with my brain, I have to find a focus. Trees move slowly through their Karma. Trees are a part of a network and signify connection. Connection is the opposite of addiction. Also, I need deep roots in my life. I need to find the earth and sink right into it. My feet, both of them must stay on the ground. Trees can help me with this. Trees. Some of the absolute best companions that I have had in this life. Thank you earth, mother, ma, the goddess, and God, for my shelter, my deceased mainstay, and this very life that each breath supports.