I'm Always On A Mountain When I Fall
It is true. In my life, and I believe this is true for others as well, when I am doing well, when I have climbed too far, I am more likely to fall. This is why it is valuable to help others up, or as I like to say, help others down.
In my book Glass Slippers, I describe society as a large caterpillar pole. What we really need to do is get off of it. What does this mean exactly? A friend at the coffee shop I have come to frequent lately, used the words “counter culture”. I am excited to view it this way, because this makes it unoriginal. It is a reminder that there are others out there like me. I believe this is when we don’t ascribe ourselves to mainstream culture, and we even do what we can on a regular basis to undermine it. When I start climbing, when I start achieving in mainstream culture, I find myself getting deeper and deeper into a philosophical black hole.
What I have to remind myself is that we are not alone. When we feel alone, it is usually because we are allowing “them” to win. Our society, and micro societies within our society, are fueled by things like lust, greed, shame, and guilt. So believing in the cause of mental illness, the fact that this culture is what is causing our illnesses, addiction, chronic PTSD, etc., and then failing to treat us, treat us well, or accept us, is believing in “counter culture.” The idea that everyone deserves a chance, and that essentially we are living in real life Star Wars, is also realizing that the Jedi are actually real.
It is just not what you think. There is no right way. There is no one way. The fact that we are not alone, and are insignificant at the same time can be liberating. But we must not be tempted by the giant black whole that is our society as a whole. Just a couple months ago, I went down to Tacoma, WA, to self-admit myself to a Behavioral Health Hospital. It was basically a holding cell for mentally ill people that had broken a law in some way, where they served us jail food. They observed us, but there were virtually no conversations between the staff and the “patients” in the five days I was there. It was a solitary experience where I was surrounded by medication resistant mental health consumers that were not receiving any love and support or attention for their vast traumas. It was a cold and sterile environment.
Our minds are trying to break us out of the patterns of darkness that rule our economies, our institutions, and our world at large. Unfortunately, this can come in the form of a range of minor to major symptoms. We must acknowledge that our mental health matters. Even over our physical appearance, our financial security, our social status, and our roles or achievements. And this is true for our children, our elderly, and even the animal kingdom.
In a meeting yesterday, a fellow introduced the topic of purpose as joy. I like that my purpose could be joy. My actual full embodied purpose. To do this I have to break the patterns of oppression around me, and this starts in my mind. Sick people, people with active mental illness, are desperately trying to break out of these prisons, and to feel joy once again.