HOW

Humility, Objectivity, and Wonder. I like to reinvent things, and make them my own. It is not because I disrespect the wisdom that has been passed down to me, it is because I am an artist at heart, and I find joy in creating new things. H.O.W. (originally Honesty, Open-mindedness, and Willingness) is the traditional acronym in how we work the twelve steps, and make the principles and values of our twelve step program come to life as we actively choose and continue on our paths of discovery. But for me, I get a little tired of hearing the same thing day after day, and making something new is not disrespectful in my opinion, but rather healing while living on a creative path. I have believed for many years that creativity and expression are key values in helping me to recover from severe mental illness. My art and inner expression through writing essays, poetry, painting, and playing music, all help me heal. I also learn though images and concepts, so challenging my conceptualization, I find new and hopeful solutions in aiding my path of recovery.

Humility was exchangeable with Anonymity in the words of Bill W. the founder of AA and one of the original creators of the twelve steps. There are times when wrapping one’s brain around the concept of Anonymity in its purest form can prove challenging. Especially in a very small community such as Lopez Island where we “all” seem to know each other’s business. So stretching my brain waves to further understanding Anonymity, a core principle in the AA program, I am delving into the concept of Humility. Humility challenges the ego and opens the doorway to putting principles above/before personalities. When we butt heads or have an issue with someone’s personality, our ego and pride are under attack. By returning to Humility, we can put our hurt feelings aside, and let go. We can forgive or accept the other person in the meeting and return to the principle of Unity as a group. It is not all about me. When I am clinging to hurt feelings, misunderstandings, or over emphasizing my own truth, I lose track of the greater truth for the greater good. I agree with Bill W. Humility is a magical principle and word, just as is gratitude, something many of us focus on while on the healing path.

Objectivity is a scientific and artistic concept. But it can also be spiritual. When I remain Objective, I cease judging others. I cease pretending I understand their struggles and that I am all knowing, and I step back and take a deep breath while allowing the person in question to just exist. To me, this is love. Allowing one’s pain to exist and not become codependent to another’s journey is key. If I remain Objective, I remain open, I practice acceptance, I put other’s needs and truths above or separate from my own, and I admit that this is God’s work, and it is not my responsibility to control a person or situation. I put my personal opinions on the back burner, and I retire any agenda that may be conscious or unconscious. It is a journey of seeing truth. It basically is true Honesty. Allowing myself to step back and simply witness objectively what is happening before me without judgement.

So, first I am humble. I admit that I do not know what is best, but the God of my understanding certainly does. Then I observe, and step into the portrait of recovery. Once I am seeing and remaining objective, I can appreciate all that is before me in another’s experience and expression. I cultivate a sense of Wonder for all that is around me all the time, and I remain positive and hopeful. I appreciate others for who they are. First, I get out of myself or my ego, I remain objective and seeing clearly, and then I stay positive and hopeful; letting the sun shine through the storm and focus on what is light rather than what is dark. There are so many gifts that can be born out of our darkness and our struggles, and it is important while doing service in AA or another program, that we remember others contain this beautiful potential as well. We are all gifted. We are learning of our gifts as we accept our struggles and are seen, listened to, and appreciated in the rooms by those around us in recovery. Healing, grief, and trauma do not live on a linear plane. It is important to remind ourselves of this while we turn off our brains in a meeting and repeat what we have been told from others over and over [colloquialisms] assuming that we fully understanding what we are saying on a deep unconscious level. It is best to not make assumptions about anyone else’s recovery. We must stay Humble, Objective, and full of a sense of awe, appreciation, and Wonder, while learning to coexist, co-express, and co-create on the healing journey of recovery.